This page is not listed on the menu.
If you would like to return here, please bookmark it.

Book Notes for
The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent

Page 121 of the book says that Labs 4, 5, and 6 are online – this is where you are now.

The published book includes Chapters 1 – 30. Chapters 31-39 (which includes Labs 4, 5, and 6) did not fit! So we put them into a nice PDF for you. You can purchase it here.

Footnotes and further resources, listed by chapter.


Chapter 1. Two Offers: Co-counseling, Body Electric School

Chapter 2. Defining Receiving and Giving: Quotes, books and poetry

Chapter 3. Four Quadrants: The five flows, from Sufi teachings

The Three Minute Game: Quotes, Harry Faddis, a video, and a download

Chapter 4. About Pleasure: Quotes, books, and poetry

Chapter 5. About Touch and Sex: Quotes, books, and a video

Chapter 6. In Search of the Quadrants: Gender resources, websites and books

Chapter 7. Lesson 1: Waking Up the Hands: Quotes, poetry, and a video

Chapter 8. Lesson 2: Finding Take-Allow: A note for bodyworkers, and quotes

Chapter 9. Lesson 3: Finding Serve-Accept: Quotes

Chapter 10. Intro to the Labs: Quotes about starting the journey

Chapter 11. Lab 1: Exploring Take-Allow: Quotes, poetry, and song

Chapter 12. Lab 2: Exploring Serve-Accept: Quotes and poetry

Chapter 13. Lab 3: Play: Ritual Play, Contact Improv, Original Play

Chapter 14. The Wheel of Consent: A downloadable Wheel

Chapter 15. The Direction of the Gift: Acequias

Chapter 16. The Doing Half: Some verbs, resources for learning to move, distinctions between empowered, assertive and aggressive, distinctions between control and taking charge, and distinctions between restraint and repression

Chapter 17. The Done-to Half: Distinctions between surrender, passivity and going with the flow

Chapter 18. The Receiving Half: Gifts of the earth, entitlement and privilege

Chapter 19. The Giving Half: Quotes and poetry, charity and donations

Chapter 20. The Taking Quadrant: A cascade of effects, core competencies, the shadow of Taking

Chapter 21. The Allowing Quadrant: The sociopolitical implications, the erotic side, the shadow of Allowing

Chapter 22. The Accepting Quadrant: Quotes, healing through sensation

Chapter 23. The Serving Quadrant: Core competencies, quotes and poetry, the shadow of Serving, the rescue industry

Chapter 24. Domain: Wolves and boundaries

Chapter 25. Desire: An example, quotes, and resources

Chapter 26. Consent: Quotes, books, and other resources

Chapter 27. Spiritual Implications: Meditation and altered states, tantra

Chapter 28. Social Implications: Quotes, the big shadow of Taking

Chapter 29. Conclusion: A quote

Chapter 30. More About my Work: Organizations working to decriminalize sex work, and list of articles and resources

The published book includes Chapters 1 – 30.

Chapters 31-39 (which inlcudes Labs 4, 5, and 6) did not fit! So we put them into a nice PDF for you. You can purchase it here.

Following are the notes and resources that go with those chapters.

Chapter 31. Bonus Tracks – Books and resources

Chapter 32. Sex and Eros – Books, sources, quotes, poetry

Chapter 33. About the Genitals – Books and resources

Chapter 34 & 35. Take-Allow and Serve-Accept with the option to include the genitals – Books and resources

Chapter 36. Playing with Sex – Books and resource websites

Chapter 37. Playing with Power and Surrender – Books and resource websites

Chapter 38. For Partners – Books

Chapter 39. For Helping Professionals – Resources

Book your tickets