Extra notes about Chapter 22: The Accepting Quadrant
in the book, The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent.
Other notes are found here.

Quotes

As you receive pleasure, the whole universe receives pleasure through you.
– Annie Sprinkle

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer lives are based on the labors of other people, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.
– Albert Einstein

Midnight, my wife Holly holding me and giving me a bit of a shoulder massage when I was beyond exhaustion. It helped me drop down and access Remembrance in my heart, and I felt such an amazingly peaceful and loving presence come in to the room. Then I was flooded with insights about some of the things our kids were struggling with and a deep sense of “It’s all perfect.”
– Mark Silver

This is the kind of Friend You Are
Without making me realize my soul’s anguished history,
You slip into my house at night, and while I am sleeping,
You silently carry off all my suffering and sordid past
In Your Beautiful Hands
– Hafiz

Healing Through Sensation

Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.

In my practice I begin the process by helping my patients to first notice and then describe the feelings in their bodies—not emotions such as anger or anxiety or fear but the physical sensations beneath the emotions: pressure, heat, muscular tension, tingling, caving in, feeling hollow, and so on. I also work on identifying the sensations associated with relaxation or pleasure. I help them become aware of their breath, their gestures and movements.

All too often, however, drugs such as Abilify, Zyprexa, and Seroquel, are prescribed instead of teaching people the skills to deal with such distressing physical reactions. Of course, medications only blunt sensations and do nothing to resolve them or transform them from toxic agents into allies.

The mind needs to be reeducated to feel physical sensations, and the body needs to be helped to tolerate and enjoy the comforts of touch. Individuals who lack emotional awareness are able, with practice, to connect their physical sensations to psychological events. Then they can slowly reconnect with themselves.
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma