The “Thank you” Aha

When it comes to the Wheel of Consent, I consider myself an anomaly. Receiving touch or anything for that matter is not usually a problem, and especially as a cis-woman, people are often astonished that I love taking and love being served. What I wasn’t aware of in myself after doing the Wheel of Consent deep dive with Betty Martin in her exceptional workshop called Like A Pro, was that while it was easy to receive touch and things, I never truly received the person.

I was so focused on the gift I was receiving that I never stopped to slow down and look at the person that was so lovingly giving to me. The “Thank you“ after receiving, while I gave it lip service and I’m good at following directions, was never truly authentic. This new “Thank you” awareness was more powerful and heart opening than anything I had learned before. The exchange of touch, the awareness of consent, and the gift between friends mean nothing if we lose the humanity, the person, the giver in the gift. Consent, now I understand, must include the human connection. Both a yes and a no are an invitation to go deeper with each other, to know each other in a new way. This is the power of the Wheel of Consent practiced in gratitude.

• Janet