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Stories - Wala - Wheel of Consent Book

The joke was on me

After I attended Like a Pro Sydney 2018 – I thought I had nailed ‘The Wheel’, I had embodied it, it made complete sense, and for me, I felt like it all had landed.

After eight days away my friend Kimberley picked me up from the airport and as we chatted she turned to me asked me “Do you want a Vietnamese Roll?” and I replied with “No, I’m not hungry” – my answer was met with a look we call ‘stink-eye’ and a swift reply “Well, I want one”. It was like a lightning bolt moment – BOOM the last 5-days rocked me to the core. Kimberley should have said, “I want Vietnamese Roll, would you like one?”. I was still riding the high of learning about The Wheel and with our solid friendship spanning 25 years, I went into full finger shaking lecture mode. With a big dose of love, I was banging on about how it’s OK to ask for what you want Kim and that we need to practise saying “I want” and what we do instead and blah blah blah and carried on with my new-found knowledge. So, as “WE” (because I ended up buying a roll after considering that I would have no food at home after being away for eight-days) we waited for our food. Still, the lecture continues right up until we were standing in my kitchen, which was about 45 minutes in total.

As I open the blinds I glanced at the clock to notice that supermarket would be closing in about an hour and with that in mind I turned to my beautiful friend Kimberley eating her Vietnamese Roll and said: “Do you want to go to the supermarket?” I was literally in shock!

I use this true story as an example to be kind, compassionate and understanding as you notice and practise asking for what you want because . . . if two girlfriends who have known and built an amazing loving friendship based on support and generosity for each other for 25 years aren’t able to ask for Vietnamese Roll or to go to the Supermarket, then imagine how hard it is to ask for your intimate needs to be met but cleanly and clearly.

It takes practice, so have fun with it and don’t make it too serious – as it will take a lot of time and practise.

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